• 15 Habits
  • About

seRENDIPIty

~ the middle of unexpected blessings

seRENDIPIty

Monthly Archives: July 2012

Expect the unexpected

07 Saturday Jul 2012

Posted by Loree2e in Art, Inspiration

≈ 1 Comment

Today I took an encaustic painting class at WaxWorksWest with Cathy Valentine. The class was called “Going Deep.” According to the class description, “this process requires time, patience and the ability to ‘let go’ of what you may feel is a completed piece.” Just what I needed…an opportunity to exercise my patience!

Oscar Wilde said “Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life” but today my painting process was a pretty good representation for what my life has been like lately. We started out by making our own painting and drawing tools out of materials like steel wool and fiber that we tied to a stick. Then we used india ink to start drawing shapes and patterns. The process was to add a layer of medium, draw on it, fuse it, and repeat. Over and over. The multiple layers add depth to the painting.

I had a hard time knowing where to start, with no strategy for getting to a finished piece. I tried different shapes and drawings on the wax, but I was feeling completely uninspired, mostly because of an underlying sadness in my spirit from an argument I had with a friend the previous day that was still weighing on me. At one point, I was so frustrated that things weren’t coming together that I went outside to get some fresh air. I looked up at the blue sky and yearned for inspiration. After a couple of minutes of enjoying the beautiful weather and the lovely garden outside the studio, I was ready to try again. Here’s where I picked it up:

I was experimenting with an infinity symbol and the painting tool I was using created a lot of “noise” around it, which seemed to capture the lost feeling I have right now about what to do with my life as well as all the messiness and complications that I feel I’m dealing with. I’m surrounded by lots of friends and people yet I yearn for the symbiotic union of the two orbs of the infinity loop in the painting, creating strength and intimacy.

Inspired by the bright day outside and the recent Independence Day holiday, I picked up on the the dots from the ink and decided to add some “fireworks” with oil stick:

I liked the addition of color, and I started visualizing the front view of an airplane, with swirling vortices coming off of it. I decided to add some “blue sky” background in preparation for some clouds and a nice airplane:

But something brought me back to the swirly lines. I added a few more layers of those and started seeing tentacles (my fascination with octopuses) so I went back to the oil sticks and grabbed cadmium orange and brown/pink:

I liked where that was going, so I inked in the “suckers” and the outline a little more:

It’s a bit difficult to see in the photograph, but all the layers underneath add a very cool depth to the painting. I thought I was done, but then the teacher delightfully told me that I’ll have a chance tomorrow to take it even further!

What did I take away from today? A few things:
– it’s okay to not have a plan. Things will eventually work out (I had serious doubts right about lunchtime, but it did work out). While it was initially unsettling to jump in and start without a plan, I was excited to try something new and to stretch my comfort level, and I was pleasantly surprised with the outcome.
– art reveals itself. Sometimes you have to just have faith…and patience. Beauty is inside of us, we just have to give it an opportunity to unfold.
– even when you do have a plan, the universe might have something else in store for you. Deal with it. It will probably be just fine, although maybe not what you had expected.

Serendipity

03 Tuesday Jul 2012

Posted by Loree2e in Divorce, Mindfulness

≈ Leave a comment

When we separated, my husband refused to move out of the house, so I rented a small, 2-bedroom apartment about 5 minutes away. It was a huge relief to have my own place. We had initially decided on a 6-month separation, but as the months passed and neither of us reached out to the other to make amends it became clear that we would not be repairing our marriage. My six-month lease was coming to an end and I received a note from my landlord, notifying me that if I wanted to stay in the apartment, my rent was being increased from $1995/month to $2695/month if I signed a year-lease, or $2995/month if I went month to month (I live in Palo Alto, CA, where landlords can apparently get away with insane increases in rent like that).

I couldn’t stay in that 900 square foot apartment any longer…not so much because of the size, but because my son and daughter had to share a room, and the walls were so thin we could hear the television of our next-door neighbor. I was convinced that the people living directly over us were sprightly 300-pound college students; they often woke me up when stomping around at 2am.

It was time to move. I had anticipated the rent increase, (although not 50%…holy cow) and had been looking for our next home for a month or so. My needs were pretty simple; the  “Must-have” criteria were 3 BR, 1BA, in Palo Alto, a year lease for ~$3500/month or less. I had a longer list of “preferred” criteria: in the North part of Palo Alto (where my children’s school is located), within walking distance to downtown, hardwood floors, garage, 2BA, modern kitchen (in my price range, many of the houses I saw were older and not all had “modern” amenities like dishwashers).

I sent emails to friends, letting them know I was searching for a place to rent. I wrote out my list of must-have and preferred criteria and offered it up to the universe.  Every day, I searched Craigslist, sometimes several times a day, looking for candidates that fit my basic criteria. I viewed a lot of properties. Sometimes, in a moment of hopelessness, I would consider a 2BR if the rooms were really big, figuring I could share a room with my daughter and have it for myself during the weeks she wasn’t with me. After about 3 months of looking (and 2 months of paying $2995/month for my apartment) I was starting to worry, but I reminded myself to be calm and to trust that things would work out. I believed that the universe had my back.

Finally, the Craigslist listing I had been waiting for arrived, but I was on the other side of the planet and unable to attend the open house. It was a 3BR, 2BA house near downtown! The rent was a little higher than I had hoped ($3800) but it was close enough. I had started seeing other property lease rates inch up and I realized I had to reset my expectations of what my dollar could buy, or, er, rent. I called the landlord to explain to her that I was very interested in the house but that I could not attend the open house that weekend because I was in the UK. She very kindly let me know that I could view the house on Monday when I returned…if it was still available. Ugh. I knew my chances were slim that it would not be gone by the time I returned, but again, I said a little prayer and then let it go, avoiding obsessing over whether or not it would still be available. There really wasn’t anything else I could do at that point, so why stress out over it?

I was delighted that by the time I returned home on Monday, I had not received a phone call from her, telling me the house had been rented. I called her to confirm that she could still show me the house and she met me that evening.

The frontage of the house was not impressive; it looked like behind the door one would find a 200 square foot studio, plus it was a block away from the train tracks. I sighed, assuming this would be another over-priced dud of a house. May, the landlord pulled up in her Lexus, sized me up as she got out of her car and showed me to the door. I was on my best behavior…I really wanted to get out of the apartment. I was pleasantly surprised when we walked in to hardwood floors and a long hallway that extended to the master bedroom in the back of the house. There was a sunlight-filled playroom on the right, with a door that led to the back yard. The kitchen was small but had a large refrigerator and a dishwasher, plus a gas stovetop (I hate electric). There was a one-car garage with rafters for storage. I walked toward the back of the house and found two bedrooms and a bathroom for the kids, and a huge master bedroom in the back, with a large closet and a two-sink bathroom. I was relieved. Then I was on a mission to get the house.

We walked into the back yard onto the patio. Behind the house was the driveway for a pediatrician’s office, so I noted that those neighbors would be fairly quiet during the hours I was home. There were lemon and apple trees in the yard, and May encouraged me to pick a few to bring to my kids. The train had come by while we were in the house and the double-pane windows had done a decent job of keeping out most (but definitely not all) of the noise. I tried to negotiate the price down to $3500 but May held firm. I felt the universe had provided an adequate house that had surpassed my list, so I wrote out a check for the deposit and filled out an application form. I must have charmed May, because she called me the next day to let me know the house was mine.

The process of finding this house turned into a life lesson for me, mostly about the power of patience and mindfulness.  When I knew my apartment situation was not working, I did all I could to find something new and I remained hopeful when my initial efforts did not result in finding what I needed, but I didn’t needlessly worry about a future (not finding a “good enough” home) that hadn’t happened. I stayed present and had faith that the universe would deliver, and it did.

Subscribe

  • Entries (RSS)
  • Comments (RSS)

Archives

  • January 2021
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • April 2019
  • January 2019
  • July 2018
  • January 2018
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • May 2015
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012

Categories

  • 15 Habits
  • Art
  • Divorce
  • Fearless
  • Fiction
  • Flying
  • Food
  • Inspiration
  • love
  • Math
  • Military
  • Mindfulness
  • Movies
  • Music
  • Parenting
  • Relationships
  • Travel
  • Uncategorized
  • Writing
  • Yoga

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in

Blog at WordPress.com.

Cancel

 
Loading Comments...
Comment
    ×
    Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
    To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy