After skipping my annual vision statement exercise for 2022, I am back at the laptop, compiling a list of what I’d like to do and how I’d like to be this year.

I experimented last year with just going with the flow. I’d read Michael Singer’s The Surrender Experiment and I found it fascinating and a bit terrifying. Don’t plan your life? I’m a Virgo, that’s like telling me not to breathe. But I did take a step back from my normal long list of goals and opened up to what the Universe had to offer. 

The two goals I had for last year were 1) figure out where I’d like to live after I became an empty-nester and 2) perform my show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, which I had previously committed to, at the end of 2021.

Fast forward to now, the end of 2022, and I’m happy to have accomplished both of those goals. I decided to live in Manhattan for a “gap year” so I can be closer to my family and tap into the creative energy of NYC. I had a fabulous run of my play in Scotland and I learned what worked well and what I’d like to do differently in the next version of the show. 

However, there were many times during 2022 when I felt lost and anxious. Maybe I’d swung too far to the other side of the “planning” pendulum? 

For 2023, I’m going back to creating an annual vision statement because I’ve found the structure is comforting to me and still allows me to be open to unplanned possibilities. So here goes!

It’s December 2023.

What a year in NYC! I made a decision about whether or not I’m extending my stay here and will include that in my 2024 Vision Statement. Being here on the east coast made it easier for me to visit my parents frequently and see my brothers and their families more often. I also saw Julia at least every other week and we started a tradition where she and a couple of friends come over, do their laundry and we cook dinner together. I helped my dad self-publish his book about leadership, something we worked on together for much of 2022. We celebrated my Mom’s 80th birthday with a fun weekend at the beach together. I’m grateful that they’re all in good health.

Despite living in a tiny 650 square foot apartment, I figured out how to host dinner parties and enjoyed having friends over. I met so many new neighbors and kept in touch with my dear friends from California, several of whom I saw when they visited the city. I enjoyed going with friends to concerts, including Crowded House and Metallica, two of my favorites.

I am happy that I’m back to working full time and having a great impact with a group of people I love working with. I’m proud that I published my second book, a self-help/self-coaching book, which I thought I was going to do in 2020, but oh well. It’s fulfilling for me to hear that it’s inspiring people to work through their fears and live lives that they love. 

Part of getting the New York experience was volunteering in my community. I enjoyed being able to meet new people and devote my time to a cause that’s meaningful to me. I also continued my pro-bono coaching that I’ve been doing for the past couple of years for clients from historically marginalized communities. 

This was a year of increased creativity for me. I developed my one-woman show into a more theatrical piece that I’m super proud of. I performed it at the Hollywood Fringe Festival in June and at the November United Solo festival in NYC. I hope to go back to Edinburgh in 2024.

I started writing again in 2022 and had submitted an essay to the NY Times Modern Love column but it was rejected. No worries, I kept going and eventually used the story as the basis for my first novel, which I self-published in 2023.

I was sad to have to give up encaustic painting for a year because of my limited space and ventilation in my apartment, but I made up for it by making 100 acrylic abstract paintings. While encaustic will always be my favorite medium, I’ve really enjoyed this year of experimentation and exploration.

A couple of years ago I had a goal to be able to play piano while singing along, and this year I finally did it! I can now sing three songs with my own accompaniment. All in all, it was a super creative year for me and I’m inspired to do even more in 2024.

I’m grateful for another year on this planet. I aspired to be compassionate, curious, and patient in 2023 and I’m proud of myself for having had an open and loving perspective this year. I hope I inspired others to do the same.

In 2016, I started working in an organization that encourages vision statements. The thought is that by stating an intention, you’re more likely to achieve the goal you’ve set than if you just think about it without writing it down.

I’ve found that to be true, and it also helps to inject some accountability into the process by sharing it. So, before I share my 2019 Vision Statement in a separate post, I thought I should review 2018’s and see how things shook out.

I’m a visual person, so I like using green (#nailedit), yellow (some progress, but not complete) and red (nope) to score each element.

This year, my 20 goals came in at 8 green, 6 yellow and 6 red. That tells me I set the bar high! It was a challenging year, and I’m grateful for the love and support of my family and friends.

Family:

• Visited NYC together and saw some Broadway shows. My daughter and I went to NYC together in June to see the David Bowie Is exhibit at the Brooklyn museum. It was such a treat to share that experience with her. While we were there, we saw Mean Girls and The Book of Mormon.
• Both kids are growing up to be independent, happy young adults. It wasn’t an easy year for my son, but I’m really proud of his progress.
  My daughter is enjoying cheerleading at Paly and is a happy 9th-grader.
• Enjoyed a fun Vegas Girls’ trip with my mom. Mom and I saw the Moody Blues in Vegas, on their 50th anniversary of the Days of Future Past album. It was a great concert, but we forgot that Vegas is COLD in January, so no pool time for us!
• Did a family vacation to a new spot. No new locales this year.
• Visited my parents in Tampa. I took the kids to visit over the long Presidents Day weekend.
• I finally met the partner I’d hoped for and we are building a life together. Dated a really nice guy for a few months at the beginning of the year, but he’s not the long-term partner I’m looking for. I’m hoping I’ll find someone to love in 2019.

Friends:

• Finally did our international girls trip! Did a girls trip to Laguna Beach, which was awesome, but not international. 🙂
• Hosted a dinner party for my WHIP friends and our partners. Unfortunately, didn’t host any dinner parties this year. Will need to remedy that in the new year.

Work:

• I successfully supported AHE in our move to GBM It was a challenge the first half of the year, but by the end of 2018, I felt like our team was performing strongly again.
• In our new team, we have radically improved education for all of our customers. My team is now creating help and education content that’s customer-centric and holistic, across a multitude of education modalities. I’m super proud of how far we’ve progressed and grateful for working with such talented and passionate people. 
• I was able to get an investment for community and we’ve increased the engagement which has helped support and education. Had my hands full with the changes for my team, so I didn’t put a proposal together in 2018.
• I started a Women@GBM group and helped support women in our org. Started  Managers Circles in GBM to help create more community within our org, but not the specific women’s-empowerment training I’d hope to create, yet. 

Community:

• Started a Facebook group for my neighborhood and at least half of my neighbors (13 of 26) joined. I started the Facebook group and 12 of the 25 neighbors joined…so close to my goal of 13! It’s been great to feel a little closer to the people who live around me; I cherish the real-life connection.
• Continued supporting veterans transitioning to tech by participating in VetsinTech and other vet orgs. I participated on several veteran-focused panels, including the Bob Woodruff Foundation, Breakline and VetsinTech, and spoke at functions for NPower, Facebook and DropBox. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to support veterans who are transitioning out of the military. I remember the anxiety and fear of wondering whether or not I’d be able to translate my skills to the civilian world, so I’m happy to be able to share my experience and, hopefully, ease stress that others may feel.

Me:

• Painting: I attended the International Encaustic Conference in Massachusetts in June. I set up my art studio and completed 20 paintings, enough to sign up for Open Studios in 2019. I have posted my paintings to my art website, encaustech.com, and have sold a few. I’ve begun talking with Facebook about doing an encaustic installation on one of the walls at work. I didn’t realize when I signed up to attend this conference that it was the same weekend as my daughter’s 8th-grade graduation – aagh! So I wasn’t able to go, and I have a wedding to attend over Memorial weekend in 2019, so I might not make it back to a conference until 2010. Did a little bit of painting in the beginning of the year, but focused more on flying and work during the second half, so I hope to get painting more in 2019.
• Design: I completed a web development course and was able to use what I learned to redesign encaustech.com, which I am now using to both exhibit and sell my artwork. Investigating how to do a small installation at Facebook.I updated my Facebook Page for Encaustech, but not much else. Did not do any coding this year.  😦
• Writing: I sold the screenplay I wrote in 2017 and wrote another one. Wrote a better ending to the existing screenplay and am working on turning it into a television series.
• Fitness: I rode the Peloton bike 3-4X a week and did yoga at least 2X/week. Took a pole dancing class and loved it. I’m exploring options to get certified in teaching yoga. Rode the Peloton on average 3-4X a month, and was sporadic in yoga. I had an injury in June that set my workouts back for about 2 months. Oy, the joys of getting older…
• Travel: I visited two new places this year (options include Bulgaria, Lisbon, Buenos Aires, Copenhagen, Prague, Berlin, Costa Rica).Visited Buenos Aires, Santa Fe, Queenstown and Sydney. Loved the travel I got to do, but by the holidays, I was ready to take a break.
• Flying: I renewed my medical and got current again in a small plane. I fly every 3 weeks or so and enjoy taking friends up for flights. Renewed my medical and am ready to take my tailwheel checkride, just got delayed because of travel and weather. Should finish this in January – yay! I’m looking forward to taking my friends flying…who wants to go?

I visited Carmel-by-the-Sea this past weekend. It’s one of my favorite places, and as I enjoyed the cold, misty night and morning, I thought of this song.

I love the lyric, “The way the beach is kissed by the sea”

Always loved a good cover. This one is pretty special.

I’m taking an online writing course to help me create a daily writing habit. Each day, we read a short poem or piece of writing that is used as an inspirational writing prompt.

Here’s Week One’s output.

Day One: Ten questions, biographical or in character. I chose the main character from a novel I am writing about a girl whose family relocated to Hawaii in the mid-80’s.

1. When I was ten years old, I thought that I’d grow up to be a veterinarian. I loved animals and always wanted a pet, but we move around a lot because my dad is in the Marine Corps, so my parents won’t let me have a dog or cat or any pet, although I usually adopt some local creature as my own whenever I can. During second grade, I went on a camping trip with my scout group and found a huge snail, so I smuggled it home and kept it on my windowsill. I’d steal pieces of lettuce from my dinner plate and feed it. I didn’t think it would move mooch but the next day when I cam home from school, the snail was gone. I like to think it crawled down the wall of our apartment building and I rationalized its absence as that rather than it being plucked from the windowsill by a bird.

2. Instead I grew up to be …well, I’m not quite grown up yet in the sense of graduating college, getting a job and all that grown up kind of stuff. I am working at our local pizza parlor, if that counts, but I’d like to think I will advance beyond food prep work.

3. The worst thing I ever did was in 5^th grade when I told one of the girls in my neighborhood about where babies come from. She was only 8 years old at the time but I had just had “the talk” at school and she asked, so I gave it to her straight. I liked feeling like I knew something special and I didn’t want to seem like a snob with my newfound knowledge, so I described the mechanics of the act. The next day, when I cam home from school, I saw The Look on my mother’s face. Apparently my description of sex had completely freaked out the girl and she hadn’t slept most of the night. I had to go over to her house and apologize to her and her mother. I was mortified.

4. I used to think the Bible was true, but every since my experience at my Catholic high school now I believe it’s just an epic novel.

5. The accomplishment that I am the most proud of is beating Claudia Elden in the 1981 spelling bee. Echinacea. What the hell?

6. If I could have a superpower, it would be the ability to know if someone is lying.

7. In my purse/bag, I always carry a brush. Damn irish genes.

8. One thing I’ve never told anyone about is that last summer, I went on one of those amusement park rides with a dark tunnel and I kissed my cousin. With tongue.

9. I typically express my creativity by decorating my room and drawing. I also really enjoy acting. I get a lot of practice every time my family moves and I have to show up at a new school and make friends.

10. If I were to run away, I would take my Sony walkman and stow away in an airplane and go back to the mainland. But I would never do that.

Day Two: Bullet to the Brain, inspiration from “Bullet In The Brain,” by Tobias Wolff

She didn’t remember the slamming of metal onto metal and how her body was thrown violently against the harness straps of her ejection seat when the jet she flew stopped cold in 60 feet on the aircraft carrier. She didn’t remember the deep feelings of loss when friends were plucked from existence, seen one morning before a mission but never to return. The birthdays, Christmases, Easter baskets, summer BBQs…none came to mind as the bullet pierced her skull. She didn’t recall graduations, First Communion, confirmation, her wedding, the final signing of her divorce papers…no rites of passage in her life which at the time had felt heavy and electric.

She remembered sweat and pressure and pain and the overwhelming desire to push a baby out of her body. She remembered her first: stuck in the canal, hesitant to emerge. She thought he would never come out, and when he finally was suctioned free, she saw his gray pallor and held him for a second before he was whisked away by nurses to be resuscitated. She remembered her second, a girl, who gave her a damnned difficult pregnancy but popped out with three pushes. Her daughter was pink, warm, soft and sweet. She remembered holding her for the first time, and as the bullet completed its path and introduced her to her mortality, she remembered that she had brought life into this world and would never truly leave it.

Day Three: Obsessions/Complusions. Inspiration from A Plague of Tics, by David Sedaris

I can’t buy it anymore. I think that I’ll be able to moderate my consumption, but if there is a jar of Nutella in my house, it will not last more than a day. Despite earnest attempts at willpower, I simply cannot resist. Maybe it’s because it tastes so damn good on just about everything. You can spread it on bland delivery devices like bread or crackers. Dipping something salty like a pretzel yields nirvana. A spoonful on a scoop of vanilla ice cream elevates the dessert to divine. Jamming a spoon into the jar and pulling away a glob works fine, too, until you find yourself with the very last traces, wondering how the creators of this magical creme could design a jar that does not enable you to scrape out the remnants and you are forced to test whether or not your tongue is long enough to lick the sides. I have learned my lesson and accepted that I must refrain from purchasing the jars I see at the grocery store and deny myself the pleasures of Nutella, lest my jeans start straining from the rapid consumption of 2,000 calories. And don’t get me started about those assholes at CostCo, with their 2-pack of 33.5 oz jars of my Kryptonite. They mock my pain.

Day Four: Pillow Book. Inspiration from the The Pillow Book of Lady Sei Shonagon, an observational notebook written over 1,000 years ago.

Annoying things

Being awakened from a deep, comfortable warm sleep by the jagged, blaring bleats of one’s alarm clock.
The reckless driver who speeds through a parking lot of stationary cars and exposed people.
The distracted driver who plods along in the left lane of the highway, drifting sporadically towards the slower lane but never pulling into it.

Wonderful things
Sliding the USB cable into a port with the correct side up so it easily engages and you don’t have to flip it over and try again.
The first bite of a warm, sugary malasada…slightly crispy on the outside but doughy and soft on the inside.
The moment when your daughter spots you in the crowd of parantparazzi at the school band concert and knows you made the effort to be there to support her.
When your young children wrap their chubby little arms around your neck and hold on to you like they’ll never let you go.

Day Five: was a long week at work and I punted this assignment.