2019 Vision Statement

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Writing a vision statement feels like building the scaffolding for my life this year. It’s the framework of a house that I can decorate over 12 months with experiences and relationships.

However, sometimes it feels a bit grandiose. There are plenty of things I want to happen in my life that I’m not going to document in a vision statement because I enjoy being spontaneous and enjoying serendipitous moments (see: name of this blog).

I’m not as anal-retentive as this process suggests, but I know that the best way for me to get the most out of my one sweet life is to set my intentions and find ways to make them happen. I am a woman of action.

I lost another friend from college this year – a painful reminder that we don’t know how much time we have left on earth. I want to be deliberate in how I live my life. I want to live it to the fullest with the people I love.

Last year’s vision statement was pretty ambitious, and I ended up completing 8 out of the 20 goals, halfway completing 6 and not getting anywhere on 6. This year, I decided to simplify to two main goals per category and a few optional, bonus goals.

Here’s what I hope to accomplish in 2019 and what I’ll be writing at the end of the year:

Family:

  • Goals
    • Did a family vacation together and unplugged our devices for at least one day (it was wonderful to do this during my New Zealand trip in 2018; need to disconnect from social media more often)
    • Spent time with my parents
  • Bonus:
    • I finally met the partner I’d hoped for and we are building a life together
    • Enjoyed a Vegas Girls’ trip with my mom, during a month when it was warm enough to sit out by the pool!

Friends:

  • Goals:
    • Had a fun trip to Sedona with my girlfriends
  • Bonus
    • Hosted a dinner party for my friends

Work:

  • Goal:
    • I started a Women@GBM group and helped support women in our org

Community:

  • Goals:
    • Started teaching yoga and mindfulness classes with Veterans Yoga project
    • Continued supporting veterans transitioning to tech by participating in Facebook’s Vets group and speaking with groups like Breakline

Me:

  • Goals:
    • Fitness:
      • Earned my 200-hr yoga teaching certification so I can teach yoga to veterans.
      • Can do a press-up handstand.
      • Competed in a pole dancing competition.
    • Music: Since buying myself a digital piano for Christmas in Dec 2018, I completed an online piano course and can play at least 4 of the following songs. :
    • Flying: I fly every 3 weeks or so and enjoy taking friends up for flights. Did a couple of cross-country camping flights and enjoyed sleeping under the stars.
  • Bonus:
    • Writing:
      • I sold the screenplay/teleplay I wrote in 2017 and wrote another one.
      • I blogged monthly
    • Travel: I visited two new places this year (thinking about Sedona, South Africa, Copenhagen, Prague, Berlin, Costa Rica).
    • Painting: I set up my art studio space in San Jose and completed 20 paintings, enough to sign up for Open Studios. I have posted my paintings to my art website, encaustech.com, and have sold a few. I’ve begun talking with Facebook about doing an encaustic installation on one of the walls at work.

2018 Vision Statement Scorecard

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In 2016, I started working in an organization that encourages vision statements. The thought is that by stating an intention, you’re more likely to achieve the goal you’ve set than if you just think about it without writing it down.

I’ve found that to be true, and it also helps to inject some accountability into the process by sharing it. So, before I share my 2019 Vision Statement in a separate post, I thought I should review 2018’s and see how things shook out.

I’m a visual person, so I like using green (#nailedit), yellow (some progress, but not complete) and red (nope) to score each element.

This year, my 20 goals came in at 8 green, 6 yellow and 6 red. That tells me I set the bar high! It was a challenging year, and I’m grateful for the love and support of my family and friends.

Family:

  • Visited NYC together and saw some Broadway shows. My daughter and I went to NYC together in June to see the David Bowie Is exhibit at the Brooklyn museum. It was such a treat to share that experience with her. While we were there, we saw Mean Girls and The Book of Mormon.
  • Both kids are growing up to be independent, happy young adults. It wasn’t an easy year for my son, but I’m really proud of his progress.
    My daughter is enjoying cheerleading at Paly and is a happy 9th-grader.
  • Enjoyed a fun Vegas Girls’ trip with my mom. Mom and I saw the Moody Blues in Vegas, on their 50th anniversary of the Days of Future Past album. It was a great concert, but we forgot that Vegas is COLD in January, so no pool time for us!
  • Did a family vacation to a new spot. No new locales this year.
  • Visited my parents in Tampa. I took the kids to visit over the long Presidents Day weekend.
  • I finally met the partner I’d hoped for and we are building a life together. Dated a really nice guy for a few months at the beginning of the year, but he’s not the long-term partner I’m looking for. I’m hoping I’ll find someone to love in 2019.

Friends:

  • Finally did our international girls trip! Did a girls trip to Laguna Beach, which was awesome, but not international. 🙂
  • Hosted a dinner party for my WHIP friends and our partners. Unfortunately, didn’t host any dinner parties this year. Will need to remedy that in the new year.

Work:

  • I successfully supported AHE in our move to GBM It was a challenge the first half of the year, but by the end of 2018, I felt like our team was performing strongly again.
  • In our new team, we have radically improved education for all of our customers. My team is now creating help and education content that’s customer-centric and holistic, across a multitude of education modalities. I’m super proud of how far we’ve progressed and grateful for working with such talented and passionate people. 
  • I was able to get an investment for community and we’ve increased the engagement which has helped support and education. Had my hands full with the changes for my team, so I didn’t put a proposal together in 2018.
  • I started a Women@GBM group and helped support women in our org. Started  Managers Circles in GBM to help create more community within our org, but not the specific women’s-empowerment training I’d hope to create, yet. 

Community:

  • Started a Facebook group for my neighborhood and at least half of my neighbors (13 of 26) joined. I started the Facebook group and 12 of the 25 neighbors joined…so close to my goal of 13! It’s been great to feel a little closer to the people who live around me; I cherish the real-life connection.
  • Continued supporting veterans transitioning to tech by participating in VetsinTech and other vet orgs. I participated on several veteran-focused panels, including the Bob Woodruff Foundation, Breakline and VetsinTech, and spoke at functions for NPower, Facebook and DropBox. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to support veterans who are transitioning out of the military. I remember the anxiety and fear of wondering whether or not I’d be able to translate my skills to the civilian world, so I’m happy to be able to share my experience and, hopefully, ease stress that others may feel.

Me:

  • Painting: I attended the International Encaustic Conference in Massachusetts in June. I set up my art studio and completed 20 paintings, enough to sign up for Open Studios in 2019. I have posted my paintings to my art website, encaustech.com, and have sold a few. I’ve begun talking with Facebook about doing an encaustic installation on one of the walls at work. I didn’t realize when I signed up to attend this conference that it was the same weekend as my daughter’s 8th-grade graduation – aagh! So I wasn’t able to go, and I have a wedding to attend over Memorial weekend in 2019, so I might not make it back to a conference until 2010. Did a little bit of painting in the beginning of the year, but focused more on flying and work during the second half, so I hope to get painting more in 2019.
  • Design: I completed a web development course and was able to use what I learned to redesign encaustech.com, which I am now using to both exhibit and sell my artwork. Investigating how to do a small installation at Facebook.I updated my Facebook Page for Encaustech, but not much else. Did not do any coding this year.  😦
  • Writing: I sold the screenplay I wrote in 2017 and wrote another one. Wrote a better ending to the existing screenplay and am working on turning it into a television series.
  • Fitness: I rode the Peloton bike 3-4X a week and did yoga at least 2X/week. Took a pole dancing class and loved it. I’m exploring options to get certified in teaching yoga. Rode the Peloton on average 3-4X a month, and was sporadic in yoga. I had an injury in June that set my workouts back for about 2 months. Oy, the joys of getting older…
  • Travel: I visited two new places this year (options include Bulgaria, Lisbon, Buenos Aires, Copenhagen, Prague, Berlin, Costa Rica).Visited Buenos Aires, Santa Fe, Queenstown and Sydney. Loved the travel I got to do, but by the holidays, I was ready to take a break.
  • Flying: I renewed my medical and got current again in a small plane. I fly every 3 weeks or so and enjoy taking friends up for flights. Renewed my medical and am ready to take my tailwheel checkride, just got delayed because of travel and weather. Should finish this in January – yay! I’m looking forward to taking my friends flying…who wants to go?

2018 Vision Statement

rosie

Here’s what I’ll be writing at the end of this year.  I added my work goals this time because it’s also an important part of my life.

Family:

  • Visited NYC together and saw some Broadway shows
  • Both kids are growing up to be independent, happy young adults.
  • Enjoyed a fun Vegas Girls’ trip with my mom.
  • Did a family vacation to a new spot.
  • Visited my parents in Tampa.
  • I finally met the partner I’d hoped for and we are building a life together.

Friends:

  • Finally did our international girls trip!
  • Hosted a dinner party for my WHIP friends and our partners.

Work:

  • I successfully supported AHE in our move to GBM
  • In our new team, we have radically improved education for all of our customers.
  • I was able to get an investment for community and we’ve increased the engagement which has helped support and education.
  • I started a Women@GBM group and helped support women in our org.

Community:

  • Started a Facebook group for my neighborhood and at least half of my neighbors (13 of 26) joined.
  • Continued supporting veterans transitioning to tech by participating in VetsinTech and other vet orgs.

Me:

  • Painting: I attended the International Encaustic Conference in Massachusetts in June. I set up my art studio and completed 20 paintings, enough to sign up for Open Studios in 2019. I have posted my paintings to my art website, encaustech.com, and have sold a few. I’ve begun talking with Facebook about doing an encaustic installation on one of the walls at work.
  • Design: I completed a web development course and was able to use what I learned to redesign encaustech.com, which I am now using to both exhibit and sell my artwork. Investigating how to do a small installation at Facebook.
  • Writing: I sold the screenplay I wrote in 2017 and wrote another one.
  • Fitness: I rode the Peloton bike 3-4X a week and did yoga at least 2X/week. Took a pole dancing class and loved it. I’m exploring options to get certified in teaching yoga.
  • Travel: I visited two new places this year (options include Bulgaria, Lisbon, Buenos Aires, Copenhagen, Prague, Berlin, Costa Rica).
  • Flying: I renewed my medical and got current again in a small plane. I fly every 3 weeks or so and enjoy taking friends up for flights.

Scorecard from 2017 Vision Statement

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“Coastline”  watercolor on paper, 2012

I was able to get Quip to cooperate and found my 2017 Vision Statement. I had written it as an essay but found it easier to evaluate in spreadsheet form, so here’s how it went. I used color-coding to indicate whether or not I felt I met the goal, kinda met it, or missed:

Goals from 2017 Vision Statement Notes
Family
We took a fun family vacation together to Europe and a couple of long weekend trips to Carmel and Hawaii. Spent spring break in Oahu and did a summer trip to London and Venice. Didn’t make it to Carmel, though.
During the weeks they’re with me, I am able to leave the office in time to pick them up from school and we cook dinner together a couple of times a week. Getting handy with the InstaPot!
We welcomed a dog into our family. Got a cat – close enough!
I finally met the partner I’d hoped for and we are building a life together. He’s appreciative of all the thoughtful things I do for him, and he delights in and encourages my personal growth. Lots of dates but no serious prospects yet.
Friends
I’ve been able to finish furnishing and decorating my house and have hosted parties for my friends. Finally finished the built-in bookshelves and decorated the walls.
We did a get-away together and celebrated our friendship. Mexico fell through because of weather, but we “got away” to the east bay!
We went to several concerts together this summer RetroFutura concert, Green Day and Paula Cole
My friends helped me ring in my milestone birthday this year and I am grateful to have them in my life. Had an awesome birthday party thrown by my parents and my kids, with family and so many dear friends in attendance. #grateful
Community
I continued my involvement in veteran support groups. Advisor for VetsinTech, spoke at NPower graduation
Helped host a VetsinTech hackathon at Facebook.
I volunteered at both of my kids’ schools. Helped with the 8th grade graduation celebration.
Me
Painting: I set up my art studio and completed 20 paintings, enough to sign up for Open Studios in 2018. I  have posted my paintings to my art website, encautech.com, and have sold a few. I’ve begun talking with Facebook about doing an encaustic installation on one of the walls at work. Got my supplies in the garage but it’s a mess. Attended several workshops this year, but haven’t organized my own studio and made it functional yet.
Web Dev: I completed a web development course and was able to use what I learned to redesign encaustech.com, which I am now using to both exhibit and sell my artwork. This completely dropped. I was able to get back the url for encaustech.com and that’s now active again.
Writing: Speaking of blogs, I am regularly posting on rendipi.com and stretching my writing muscles. Wouldn’t consider posting 5x a year “regular.” 🙂
Writing: I finally completed the first draft of my first novel. Wrote a screenplay instead of a novel.
Music: I continued my guitar lessons and sang at an open mic night. Practiced guitar for a while but it fell off. No open mic nights yet, other than some karaoke.
Fitness: I got serious about yoga and am practicing at least 3X a week. In 2018, I will get my 200-hour teaching certificate and will start volunteering to teach yoga at the VA. Practicing yoga fairly regularly but need to carve out more time for it.
Travel: I enjoyed a solo vacation and visited some places I’ve never been to (Montreal, Vancouver, Prague, Barcelona, Copenhagen, Costa Rica are candidates) Visited Amsterdam and Barcelona. Loved both.

Tomorrow I’ll share my 2018 Vision Statement. There are lots of similarities – things I really wanted to get to this year but didn’t have time or other priorities occurred. And there are some new things! I’ll try to trim the list to something more manageable. Looking back, there was a lot here, and I didn’t even include my work goals.

Onward and upward!

Happy New Year, 2018

fearless

As we often do at the end of a year, yesterday I reflected on my vision statement from 2017 and how much I was able to accomplish and what didn’t get done.

While I was able to achieve more things than I believe I would have if I hadn’t written a vision statement, it occurred to me that despite a shit-ton of therapy introspection over the past few years, I am still letting fear guide too much of my life.

I am still afraid of…

making bad decisions.
looking stupid.
hurting someone.
falling in love again.
hurting myself physically.
failing the people I love.
and probably several other things I haven’t listed. Blockchain technology, for example.

So, while I did write another vision statement for 2018 (which I will have to post separately because Quip is being uncooperative at the moment – shocker), I want to also commit to a guiding word for the year.

Over the past few years, I’ve used Explore, Stretch, Mindful, Forgive and Create. But for some unexplained reason, this year I feel I need to up-level the bad-assery of my inspirational word-of-the-year. Maybe it’s because I turned 50 a few months ago and so my mortality is more top-of-mind. Perhaps it’s because I find that the older I get, the fewer fucks I give about a LOT of stuff. Like my potty mouth, for example. During my years in the navy, my creativity in the fine usage of colorful metaphors approached artisanal mastery but has since degenerated to the point now where I can barely manage to drop an f-bomb when I need my teenage son to take.the.fucking.garbage.out.NOW.

But I digress.

For me, 2018 is about being FEARLESS.

  • It’s about stepping up for challenges at work that scare me, because I know I will figure shit out, somehow, and I’ll be supported by the best team I’ve ever had the honor of working with.
  • It’s about engaging more with friends, instead of using my INFJ-ness as an excuse to not comment on a post, or go to a party or take a stand on an issue.
  • It’s about encouraging myself to be vulnerable and open, hopeful that I will meet someone I can trust and find a partner whom I adore and who feels the same about me. Or maybe I won’t, and I’m okay with that. #dontsettle
  • It’s about getting back behind the stick of an airplane (a stick, not a goddamn yoke. Fuck that shit.) because I love flying and I miss having my head literally in the clouds.
  • It’s about continuing to loosen the grip on the two people I love the most, who are pulling slowly away from me (as they should) as they look toward that beacon of adulthood beckoning to them more brightly, while still supporting them and loving them every day. Even when they don’t take out the fucking trash.
  • It’s about sharing my writing, rather than worrying about what people will think, or how they’ll judge me. Ditto for my encaustic painting work.
  • It’s about getting stronger physically. After years of recovering from a fat childhood, I’m no longer afraid to own this. Sorry, Mom and Dad, this might be the year I take up pole dancing.

So there it is. My first fearless act is to share this publicly and ask you, my friends and family, to remind me that in exactly one year I’m going to have to answer up to myself about whether or not I followed through on being fearless. Hopefully you will at least have received an airplane ride out of it with me somewhere along the way.

Happy New Year, everyone! Except you, Fear. You can fuck off.

 

 

 

Making art from a broken heart

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I am taking a class at the Santa Cruz Museum of Art and History tomorrow, taught by Daniella Woolf. It’s inspired by work she did entitled Family Portrait using emotional letters that had been written by her family members. The class is called “Let it Rip.” We are encouraged to bring personal letters to transform.

Instead of letters, I’m bringing printed tweets that were written to be my a former lover. Most are some version of this:

Screen Shot 2017-06-09 at 8.06.45 PM

It’s interesting to read them now. At the time, when we were in love with each other, I would look forward to reading these delightful reminders of how beautiful and unique we thought our love was. I would feel warm inside, reading of his professed undying love for me. Unfortunately, he wasn’t ready for a committed relationship with me. Reading his words now, I feel sad that the timing didn’t work and that he let a love like that slip away. But, I’m grateful for getting this great material for art!

 

 

Serendipity 

That moment when you’re eating a crappy salad in the Las Vegas airport after yet another weekend of feeling sorry for yourself because you’re convinced you are never going to find love again and then as you take a mouthful of overcooked chicken and way too much lettuce, your ear catches a sound that is familiar and after a second of slowly rolling the salad around your mouth, you realize the restaurant is playing music, in fact, the song you’re hearing is one of your favorite songs ever by your favorite band and suddenly you know you that you’re going to be okay, even better than okay, you are going to be fucking fantastic and you will fall in love again and sing this song to him, or better yet, you will sing it to each other.

Who do I want to be?

I read this post about “the Deadly Sin that makes life awesome.” Spoiler: It’s Pride. But not Hubristic Pride, when you think you’re better than other people. The author describes the benefit of Authentic Pride, where you are proud of the work you’ve done.

One of the recommendations the author makes is to ask yourself, “Who do I want to be” rather than “What do I want?” or “What will impress other people?”

I love that approach.

So, who do I want to be?

A writer.
An artist.
A mom with a great relationship with her kids.
A partner to someone I love and respect.
A great friend.
Fearless.
Creative.
Free.
Loved.

 

The mathz

goldenratio

I’m on a long flight from LHR-SFO, reading a great book called The Divine Proportion, by H.E. Huntley, published in 1970. It’s about the relationship of aesthetics and mathematics, so of course if focuses a lot on the Golden Ratio.

In the first chapter, the author describes how he fell in love with mathematics. It was at a lecture, during his freshman year at Bristol University and the lecturer, Peter Frazer, wrote a theorem on the chalkboard and became enamored by the simple elegance of the set he had drawn. He paused, then proclaimed how exquisite it was, becoming animated in his exaltations of the theorem’s beauty. The class laughed, but the author was moved.

I get it. I had a similar experience in my freshman calculus class, when Professor Zukowski, who most mornings reeked of alcohol, wrote on the board the first differential equation I’d ever seen, and proceeded to explain how calculus could explain so many parts of our world…it was like I had received a decoder ring for the universe. I had loved trigonometry in high school, mostly the graphing of the curves, but this was adding a new dimension, literally.

In the book, Professor Huntley gives advice to those who might be reading it and thinking of pursuing mathematics as a career. One bit of advice struck me as sad, yet true. He writes, “You may be lonely. Scarcely anyone will understand your work because few will be capable of understanding it.”

I feel that deeply. Perhaps my greatest failure as a parent has been my inability to stir in my children the same love I had for math. Granted, I didn’t fall in love with math until I was in college. And friends will tell you that it wasn’t math I fell in love with, but David Carpenter.

I’ll explain… I was in NROTC, so I had to take calculus. And in my calculus class was a cute, suntanned, shaggy-haired boy with awesome dimples, named Dave Carpenter. He kept to himself, which added to his mystique. One day, he came to class in an Air Force ROTC uniform and I about died…my secret crush was also in ROTC! I finally mustered the courage to ask him about it, and we struck up a conversation. He had dreams of becoming an astronaut, so he was enrolled in AFROTC. I started researching the space program. Most astronauts were former military test pilots who had technical degrees. So I switched my major from art to mathematics. My friends accused me of wanting to become an astronaut so I could have sex with David Carpenter in space.

After the second month of school, I didn’t see him in class. I never saw him in a uniform on campus again. His enthusiasm for the space program had apparently dissipated, or maybe it transferred over to me. I went on a field trip to a few naval air stations over the holiday break and fell in love with flying, too. David Carpenter had been replaced.

It’s funny, I was reading this book about numbers, and then the in-flight TV show I was most drawn to was a show about online dating and algorithms. I took a few notes; my next exercise after writing this blog post is updating my dating profile. On the show, the host mentioned the mathematical formula about rejecting 37% of options and then dating the next suitable person (also detailed in this article). I’ve been keeping a list of the dates I’ve been on; I think I’m around 28, so I feel like I have extra incentive to hop to it and get out on some more dates.

I was also super inspired by the images and figures in the book. I cannot wait to get my art studio in order so I can start a mathematically-inspired series of paintings. I want to do a bunch that are inspired by the golden ratio, and also a series of chessboards. I love that math continues to inspire me in so many ways, which gives me hope that maybe my kids will also eventually learn to appreciate it.