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~ the middle of unexpected blessings

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Hope

29 Thursday Dec 2016

Posted by Loree2e in love, Movies, Relationships

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Tags

heartache, hope, love

ingvild-deila-as-princess-leia-in-rogue-one-lucas-film

I saw the latest Star Wars movie, Rogue One, this past Tuesday. I loved it and felt it stood on its own as great entertainment, and even better as the prologue to Star Wars Episode IV, A New Hope. I felt all tingly when I saw the X-wing Starfighters onscreen. I remember watching the original Star Wars movie in theaters in 1977 and thinking the X-wings were the coolest things ever. That was probably my first exposure to “aviation” (is there a space version of that term? Spaciation?) and it certainly planted the seeds for my career as a pilot.

The movie also struck me in a different, non-nostalgic way. In the last scene of Rogue One, a CGI-enhanced Princess Leia receives the plans for the Death Star, thanks to the sacrifices of the rebellion:
Captain Raymus Antilles: [after handing Princess Leia the Death Star schematics] What is it they’ve sent us?
Princess Leia Organa: Hope.

I choked up at this scene – Carrie Fisher had died that morning. I felt like she was speaking directly to me through the completely coincidental timing of my viewing of this scene.

Let me back up…I’ve been recovering from a broken heart…from repeated heartbreak at the hands of someone I was deeply in love with but who had strung me along, who wouldn’t commit to a monogamous relationship with me. I’d been feeling down lately; wondering if I’ll ever find a similarly deep connection with another person, if I will be able to trust someone with my heart again. And then, unexpectedly, this scene in Rogue One reminded me about Hope.

Hope is “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” For a long time, I had hoped my former love would choose to build a life with me. He gave me every expectation that it would happen…”eventually.” He asked me to respect “his process” and give him time.  I certainly desired a partnership with him, and I thought he wanted one with me, too. He told me he had never loved a woman as much as he loved me, but after years of waiting for him to choose a life with me, I realized those were just words, and the love I had hoped for with him was never going to happen, even though he would tell me he loved me “always.”

For a while, I made the mistake of giving up hope on finding love, not just with this one person, but with any partner. I didn’t think I could ever be so lucky again. But fortunately, by getting back on the dating circuit and some pep talks from friends and family, I’m feeling better. I’d like to believe the scene with Princess Leia was another nudge from the Universe to not give up. I find inspiration in many places, from Instagram to music to art. All these serendipitous reminders help to convince me that hope is not lost.  I know that I will find love again, and this time with someone who is ready to be loved and treasured. I have hope, and I’m happy to live with that until I have love.

 

This.

09 Saturday Jun 2012

Posted by Loree2e in Inspiration

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Tags

love

A friend of my friend passed away and she posted this on Facebook for him. I don’t know who the author is and have been unsuccessful in finding more online, but I thought this so beautifully expressed how I feel about life that I wanted to keep it, so I’m tucking it away here.

In a slip
The moment skips by
And a life is done

A perfect carved miniature
Added to the infinite mosaic
Each of us destined to join

A beginning
A middle
An end

Born to live
Live to love
Love to create

A whole story
Another story
Unique and universal

This intensity of aliveness
So full of certainty
A sense of the permanent
In the blink of an eye
The most temporary blink
Then it’s done…

Reach out
Reach out and love
Reach out and touch

Feel, confirm
it all is happening
Know through connection
We are here
Flowing water
Vital and fleeting

Speak, kiss, hold, love
Create
Leave your mark
Learn, learn, learn
Teach, teach, teach

Heed your passion
Follow your bliss
Find your voice

Look into another soul
Eyes are the window
And the mirror

Wake up that passion
With the proof
That you and another have connected

Share the fire
Honor the spark
Make the love
Carve the stone

The prescious present
Never returns
Say it now
Do it now
Be it NOW

No regretting the doing
Only what we didn’t
-Mark Ulano

Why Rendipi?

03 Sunday Jun 2012

Posted by Loree2e in Inspiration, Mindfulness

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Tags

divorce, love

Unexpected Road

I’ve always liked the word serendipity. It starts off sounding like such a formal word, full of gravitas and then you hit the third syllable and the cute little “dip” turns the requiem into a tarantella.

Serendipity definition

Over a year ago, I knew I wanted to start blogging on a more regular basis and I was considering domain names. Serendipity.com was taken by a domain squatter, so I took the outer shell off of the word and rendipi.com emerged. It represents being in the middle of unexpected blessings and that’s where I feel I am. Being a divorced woman in her 40s isn’t exactly what most would consider a blessing, yet I feel like I have finally discovered myself. I have been through many difficult emotions this past year and that has made me much more aware of the many blessings in my life. I think I had always been grateful, but experiencing some of the lows and challenges of the past year provided the necessary contrast that encourages me to note and appreciate small, everyday delights. My outer shell has come off, and the strength and happiness that I am experiencing is a pleasant surprise for me. I look forward to celebrating more occurrences of serendipity in my life.

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